SO MANY things to think about when you’re in Year 6. Oh man, it was wild back then.
you’re not invited to.!
that freak you out for various reasons
The mean Irish teacher
who is fucking insane
Medication you have to take
which supresses your hate for middle class society and the demountable school buildings and terrorists the hate is still there you’re aware of it but first you have to fight through the haze which hides the switch to your vocal cords so that you can’t make them scream
War on Terrorism – which begins later in the year.
who I didn’t know existed until he announces War on Terrorism
Dragon Ball Z. What if I sleep in or the aerial stuffs up the day Goku finally kills Frieza?
What if my crazy teacher is a terrorist?
My scary psychologist
has three nipples
How the hell am I going to find and read all the 54 Animorphs books in order?
Impressing my friends
who are more athletic and don’t invite me to parties because my socks don’t match. Being possessed by an alien slug
Making sure I get dressed in time since my foster mum threatened to put me on the bus in my PJs. Like she did to my foster brother.
Making sure my socks match.
Feeding the horses.
Vampires. Do they exist?
Or are Joss Whedon and Blade big fat liars?
High school. Those kids look mean. What if I go to high school one day and I get knifed or flushed down the toilet or overlooked because I’m less than average in ability and looks and the teachers don’t care because their classrooms have too many students beyond capacity and I don’t learn long division properly?
What if I get tricked into smoking cigarettes, and before you know it the addiction strips my soul away and I become a total psycho like Christian Slater in that movie Heathers.
My foster mother gave me a visualisation exercise one day. She said “when there’s too many thoughts in your head, imagine a box.”
“Put all your thoughts and fears and worries in the box.”
“Close the box and put it under your bed. Come back later when you need them. Keep two or three with you and manage those ones.”
Okay! I’ll keep the epic fight between Goku and Frieza, the mean Irish teacher, and trying to sleep my way to popularity.
I find it difficult to think more than two or three ideas or thoughts now. Family, work, social life, it’s all been compartmentalised to when I need to access them. When something or someone tries to climb out the box
I chop them up with an axe and swallow some medication with alcohol and I put them back in and promise myself I’ll work on it later.