Ms Gameboy

ALTERNATIVELY named Ms Gameboy and the Awkies Trio.

Ms Gameboy would often say, “I will keep an eye on you, Chris.” Most of the time she said that because I was a bit of a delinquent and she trusted me like a traditional owner would with a mining company.

But once my school councillor meant it in a nice way. I think. Assuming she didn’t assume I would be a serial killer or a Wall Street predator. She added; “You will be on the bestseller list and I will read your book.”

Well, I hope she never reads this. And she probably won’t because you’re pretty much my sole readership. Also, I’ve changed my name.

And I’ve changed her name. It’s not really Ms Gameboy. It was the nickname the Awkies Trio gave her because her real name was a few vowels off Gameboy and it’s fun to destroy a teacher’s self esteem.

For example, Mr Stone the substitute teacher was Mr Stoner.

And our high school science sub was Ms Pike. “What’s a dyke?” I asked her once after I heard the word whispered far too many times around the Bunsen burner.

Fat Tony


I’m not actually sure Gameboy was the school councillor. She was sort of like a remedial officer who took on the Awkies Trio. The trio were the more anti-social of the Year 6 loners. There was Finchy, the ADHD kleptomaniac/compulsive liar. There was Whitey – this kid who often sat away from everyone and drew dragons. And there was me.

I was trying to fit in the school system,so that my crush Ellie would want me. Witchcraft wasn’t working, I needed to be in on the cool crowd.  Gameboy’s interest told the class I was a weirdo no matter how normal I acted.

I was hot and cold with this poor lady.

Because at least I could get out of class for excursions or get ice-cream.

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